Does getting married mean you give up the rights to your own body? Once consent is given, is it given forever? How can a husband or wife rape their spouse?
Rape is rape, regardless of the relationship a victim has with their aggressor. The person who commits sexual assault might be a stranger, a coach, a religious leader, a parent or even a spouse, but it doesn’t change the facts.
As a society we understand and acknowledge that physical abuse can happen in a marriage, however when it comes to sexual abuse within a marriage, society begins to question how legitimate it is. The idea that once consent is given it can still be taken away receives great criticism.
According to a study by Finklehor and Yllo (1985) 10-14 per cent of American women have been raped by their husbands and unfortunately statistics on male marital rape are almost non-existent. In that same study respondents ranked marital rape 62nd out of 140 crimes and deemed it less severe than both ‘selling marijuana’ and ‘stealing’. This lack of recognition attributes to the fear victims have when reporting marital rape. In Canada, it was only 27 years ago that the law changed to support spousal sexual assault as an offence.
Prior to 1983 sexual assault was against the law outside of a marriage, and the only types of assault recognized within a marriage were indecent assault, common assault and assault causing bodily harm. In 1993 the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights established marital rape as a human-rights violation – only 17 years ago. Despite these laws being in place it is still difficult to prove marital rape since sexual relations in a marriage are expected and as with many sexual assaults, it happens in the privacy of people’s relationships.
Due to the very intimate nature of marriage and the sexual intimacy that goes along with it, most victims of sexual abuse within a marriage feel they don’t have rights. It might seem that marital rape is simply an extension of domestic violence especially since many people who are raped by their spouse’s are also physically abused. However it is necessary to recognize that marital rape is specifically traumatizing and stigmatizing and victims need to feel free to come forward and leave their abusive relationships behind. They need to feel that the public will support them instead of disregarding their claims simply because their aggressor is also their spouse.
There are a number of ongoing marital rape cases currently underway in North America. A man named Shawn Harris has been found guilty of forcing his wife to perform oral sex and is still standing trial on rape charge. A US Army captain is currently facing court martial for allegedly raping his wife and a New Jersey man was acquitted of raping his wife because the judge deemed that personal cultural beliefs allowed him to do so.
Marital rape is a particular problem in developing countries where it is believed by both men and women that a husband is entitled to sex at any time he wishes and if his wife refuses him, he has the right to use force. Such views are not exclusive to distant and far away lands, they exist in our own back yard and make it very difficult for victims to come forward.
There is no such thing as blanket consent. Regardless of what type of relationship two people are in ‘no’ always means ‘no’ – it really is that simple.
