A number of critics of the Catholic Church have pointed their finger at celibacy as the main reason for priestly abuse, while a prominent Church leader has pointed the finger at homosexuality. Neither theory is accurate.
Sexual abuse is abuse where sex is used as the weapon to control, and hurt another human being. Just like physical abuse is abuse where physical means are used to control and hurt another human being. It’s difficult sometimes to comprehend how sex can be used to hurt, because we are taught that sex is fun and mutually enjoyable. That same warmth and comfort that makes it an intimate and sharing experience when it is consensual, is also what makes it such an effective weapon to manipulate and dominate another person.
Predators exploit this connection between sex and love, and the confusion the general public has about why someone would choose to abuse someone in a sexual manner. They may convince their young victims that their sexual acts are an expression of love, or they may convince juries that their intent was a misguided need for physical affection. Don’t be fooled – they know what they are doing is wrong and abusive.
The sexual behavior and preferences of predators also have nothing to do with sexual orientation or physical attraction. Their “sexual” preferences go no further than selecting the most available and vulnerable of children. In the case of priests, they have more unrestricted access to boys, and as a result, most of their victims are boys.
What studies do show about perpetrators is that the majority of them are heterosexual, even those who offend against boys. A large number of offenders are married and have children of their own. Studies also confirm that sex offenders do not have a higher sex drive than other people in society. Sexual abusers make a choice to violate children. This choice is not based on sex being unavailable, or because offenders harbor a secret attraction to the same sex. This choice stems from the desire to control another person, to humiliate and shame that person, and to make someone submit to their will.
